Allah Almighty says: 'The believers are but brothers, so make settlement between your brothers', and spouses in Islam are closer than brothers, as they are partners in life and companions on the path to Allah. Therefore, reconciliation and understanding between them is more important and necessary. Disputes in marital life are natural and expected, but what matters is how to deal with them in a positive and constructive way.

Islam has established a clear and wise methodology for dealing with marital disputes, based on justice, mercy, and wisdom. This methodology does not only aim to solve problems, but to strengthen the marital bond and deepen love and understanding between spouses.

The Islamic Approach to Dispute Resolution

Islam teaches us that disputes are opportunities for growth and learning, not the end of the world. The Islamic approach begins with patience and deliberation, as spouses should not make hasty decisions when angry. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'No judge should pass judgment between two people while he is angry'.

The first step in the Islamic approach is advice and good counsel. Each spouse should express their feelings and needs in a decent and polite manner, remembering Allah's saying: 'And speak to people good words'. Kind words have a magical effect in calming souls and opening hearts.

If initial attempts fail, then comes the role of separation in bed as mentioned in the Quran, which is a way to express seriousness in the matter without harm or humiliation. Finally, if all attempts fail, arbitrators from the families of both spouses can be sought for mediation and reconciliation.

The Art of Positive Dialogue

Positive dialogue is a skill that every husband and wife must master. Effective dialogue begins with genuine listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Make your partner feel that you hear them and understand their point of view, even if you don't agree with them.

Use phrases that start with 'I feel' instead of 'You do', as this reduces the sense of attack and defense. For example, say 'I feel sad when...' instead of 'You always make me sad'. This approach opens the door to constructive dialogue instead of destructive argument.

Remember that the goal of dialogue is to reach a solution satisfactory to both parties, not to prove who is right and who is wrong. As Imam Shafi'i (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 'I never debated with anyone except that I wished Allah would show the truth on his tongue, not on mine'.